J The Wind in the Willows
J Sang softly to me
J Follow my voice
J Wherever it leads
J From mountains, through valleys
J To deep rolling seas
J Born on the wings of the breeze I
Afierlhe weasels hadbeen overthrown in the Ibmous Batik of Toad Hall,
and Mr Toad was installed in his old home once more,
he invited his friends to a dinner
atwfaichhepromisedtotelltfaemmore about his adventures.
The programme was familiar.
"Speech of welcome by Toad.
"Addressmby Toad.
"Sony - - -.
"Nay Toad.
"Composed by himself."
And some of the adventures seemed familiar, too,
though Toad always remembered things difierenfly.
Toad said that there “were at least a million weaseis.
I'll give them "Down with Toad"! And in my own banqueting hall, tool
- Come on. - Hmm? Ah!
Always a Toad! Attack!
Toadsaidhewastfleveryfirst intotheattack
andhelblluponlheenelny with: vengeance.
Woo-ool
Toad did mention how courageously Rafly had fought the weasels
andhowbmve Mole mockedlhelnlbrsbr.
And how Badger had just thumped them and bumped them and dumped them.
Ah...missed. Again.
But mosfly he reminded them of how, while omen did the actual fighting,
he, Mr Toad, had been in command of the batik.
A Toad! Always a Toamaaaaghl
Ofhowhehadchosenaposilion withafineviewoftlaeacfion.
Behind you, Badger!
And how, in the nick of time,
he launched his feafless attack on the chief weasel,
which he had immodalised in song.
Last verse, I'm afraid.
J Shout! Shout hooray!
J And let each one of the crowd try and shout it very loud
J In honour of an animal of whom you're justly proud
J When the toad me home!
J When the toad
J Came
J Home! J
Thank you. Thank you, my dear friends.
Thank you for your appreciation.
By the way, you might have seen this gift I'm sending to the jailer's daughter
with a graceful little note. Very well composed, you may agree.
Quite right, Toad. Well done.
Glad to see you showing proper gratitude.
Yes, Toady. Just think where you'd be if that terrible magistrate had had her way.
ButToadsimplytoldflaem howcleverhehadbeen
- to steal the motor ml. - Anything for a fellow motorist.
Oh, I say!
And how skilfully he'd driven if away.
Got out, he hopped in and away!
The chap's a damn frog. Oh, I say!
And what a witty thing he'd said to the policeman.
- Fat face! - Now then...I
"Now then..."
Andhow, Mrenhiscasecametocourt,
he mused the mqglblmte such a difiiculy.
To my mind, the only difficulty in this very clear case
is how to make it sufficiently hot for the incorrigible rogue
and hardened ruffian who we see cowering in the dock before us.
AndToadwerltontotellhisfriends
lhatdespitelfretembleplesenoe oflhemqglblrateandlblvesoflfrehvl,
hehadstoodsoproudly andsohandsomelyinlhedock
while she made he! closing address,
thattfaeoonstablesandeventfaeomaen ofthestolenmotorcarwereindoubt.
"Fat face"!
Mr Clerk, what is the stiffest, the very stiffest penalty
we n impose for each of these of fences
without, of course, giving the prisoner the benefit of any doubt
because there isn't any?
Well, ma'am, you might give 12 months for the theft.
Which is mild.
And, uh, three years for furious driving.
Which is lenient!
And 15 years for the cheek, which was pretty bad sort of cheek.
Namely, calling him "Fat Face"!
Now, then...
- That adds up to... - 19 years!
19 years?!
And another year for being green!
2O years!
She didn't frighten me!
Ohh...
Oh, Badger.
Mole!!-.
Oh, Rafly-
Oh, where are you?
I never lost my composure for an instant.
No sooner was I inside the jail than I was making plans for my escape.
(Jailer) There you are, daughter.
Toadwentontoearplainhowheflshown suchhemismin hislonelydurageon
andhowheflrefusedabsolutely toletamorseloffoodpasshishbs.
NO.
Nothing!
Take it away.
I've brought you something I've made myself. Bubble and squeak.
Bubble and...
squeak?
It's piping hot.
Mmm.
The jailer's daughter was an excellent girl. I offered to let her help me escape.
- I have an aunt who's a washer woman. - Never mind. Think no more about it.
I have several aunts who...
Toad, do be quiet. My aunt Maude does all the washing in the jail.
People are used to her coming in and out and you're very much like her in build.
I am not!
I have a very elegant figure... for what I am.
So has my aunt for what she is. Here, try it on.
Ooh, you're not suggesting that I should disguise myself
as a washer woman?!
So I had the brilliant idea of disguising myself as a washer woman
and simply strolled out of the jail!
Night, Maude.
Good night, old chap.
Old chap?
Maude?
According to Toads account,
he immediately put his brilliant escape plan into action.
(Jailer) Quick! After him!
Bring him back!
(Toad) Naturally, such an important prisoner was bound to be missed.
Soon they were all in pursuit, but I simply stepped aboard a passing train!
Yes, yes, Toad. We know all that.
Ho ho! My dear Ratty, you haven't heard the half of it.
We have heard quite enough of your boastin', Toad.
Yes, of course.
All the same, I lead such a quiet life
and Toad's adventures, well, they are rather exciting, you know.
Come on, Badger. We'll hear the rest.
Ah, good. Well, there I was in my clever disguise,
but miles from home.
When what should I see but a barge?
Naturally, I was more than a match for the barge woman...
- A nice morning, ma'am. - I dare say it is a nice morning, ma'am,
to them that's not in sore trouble like what I am.
You see, my married daughter sends for me to come to her at once,
so off I goes, not knowing what may be a-happening.
- But fearing the worst, ma'am. - Where might your daughter be living?
She lives near a river
right beside a fine house called Toad Hall.
Toad 'all? Why, I'm going that way myself.
You come along in the barge with me.
Oh, much obliged to you, ma'am. I'm in the washing and laundry line.
And a very good business you have, too, I dare say,
if I'm not making too free.
Finest business in the whole county. All the gentry come to me.
Washing, ironing, starching, making up gents' shirts. I do it all.
And you are...very fond of washing?
Oh, simply dote on it.
Never so happy as when I've got both anns in the wash tub.
- What a bit of luck! - Hmm? Why? What do you mean?
My husband, he's such a fella for shirking his work.
He's gone off to see if he n pick up a rabbit for dinner,
leaving me with all that washing.
Never mind the washing. Fix your mind on that rabbit. Got any onions?
Now, now, don't try to deprive me of the pleasure of giving you a treat.
You'll find a heap of things there and a tub
and soap and a kettle on the stove
and a bucket to haul water up from the canal.
I'll just take a little nap until my husband gets back.
I'll know you're enjoying yourself
instead of sitting here idle looking at the scenery and yawning.
Isay... Oh!
Oh!
Ohhl
Ohh, my paws!
They're ruined!
(She laughs)
Oh, I thought sol
Pretty washer woman you are!
Never washed so much as a dishcloth in your life!
Certainly not, you low, common, fat barge woman!
Washer woman, indeed! I am a toad!
A very well-kmwn, respected, distinguished toad!
So you are! Well, I never.
A horrid, nasty, crony toad! And on my nice, clean barge, too.
That is a thing I will not have.
It was at that point, according to Toad, that he decided to leave the barge.
You! You...l
You... Oh!
A-hal
(T cad) Since she didn't appreciate a gentleman, I decided to teach her a lesson.
Here! No! Stop!
Oh, Toad! That was stealing.
Nonsense. I merely borrowed the nag.
Sent it back later, did you? With an honorarium?
Mm? What?
Well... Well, I...
Er... Er, no. Not exactly.
Come on, Toad. What did you do?
Well, I was getting rather hungry...
Wa-heyl
Wa-heyl Hello!
'Ere, you want to sell that there horse?
Me sell this beautiful young horse of mine? Out of the question.
I'm too fond of him. And he dotes on me.
Well, try and love a donkey. Some people do.
When it me to bargaining with that gypsy, he didn't stand a chance.'
- A shilling a leg. - A shilling a leg?!
Oh, that's only...four shillings. No, out of the question.
Oh, hmm...
Ohh.
'So in the end I had a whole plateful of the good fellows stew
'and a handsome sum for the horse.'
What do you think of that for cleverness, eh?
That is the most disgraceful thing I have ever heard.
Eh? What?
Do you mean to tell us you actually sold the barge woman's horse?
On, Toadyl
Well, I...
You will have to send it back.
- How n I? The gypsy has it. - You'll have to buy it back.
He'll cheat me again. I mean I don't know where he is.
Then send the barge woman some money, enough to buy a new horse.
Mole is right, as usual.
Toad, you will send that unfortunate woman a handsome gift of money
together with a sincere apology.
An aP°I°9Wl
She was a common, low, fat barge woman who threw me off the barge!
What? I thought you said...
It doesn't make any difference. You still can't steal her horse and sell it.
So in addition to sending a gold watch to the jailer's daughter,
the only respectable part of this sorry business,
Toad will also despatch a gift of money to the washer woman, the engine driver,
the barge woman...
ls there anyone else, Toad? Rat, you'd better make a list.
Oh, bother! You and your lists! How dare you!
I won't send anything to anyone. I shan't even send the gold watch.
That girl was very lucky to have such a distinguished visitor.
And as for you -all of you - I'm sorry I ever invited you to dinner!
I could have turned the weasels out by myself. I don't need you. I never did.
In that...
we shall leave at onoe and never inflict our company upon you again.
Sony, Toad. You've gone too far this time. Mole?
Er, yes, of course, Ratty. I wouldn't want to stay where I'm not wanted.
- Goodbye, Toad. - Hmml
You vain creature.
Oh, Well.
No! Oh, no, don't go!
Oh, my dear friends. What an ungrateful toad I am!
But for you, I should never have seen my beloved home again.
Oh, Badger.
No, make your list, dear Rat.
And I will do whatever you say.
But meanwhile, charge your glasses
and we will proceed to item number five.
Ha-hal Ha-hal
(Badger) "Item five. Speech of thanks to the guests.
"BY Toad."
Right. Everybody listening?
So Ratty, Badger and Mole settled back in their chairs
and prepared themselves for a very, very long evening.
J Spin me a dream
J Woven silver and gold
J From sunshine and shadows
♪ And days long ago
J Where people are memories
J And stories unfold
J Willows
J The tales you have told me
J Wind in the Willows
J You just seem to know
J Who you n turn to
J And which way to go
J To unwind your wondrous mind
J Wind in the Willows
J Take me there I